Sunday, July 28, 2013

Jaao nugri kaaya.

Jaao nugri kaaya thaare ke jas gaavaan?
Arre haan haan re.
Jaao nugri kaaya thaare ka jas gaavaan? Arre haan haan re.

Kai jas gaavaan?  Ab thaare kya jas gaavaan?

Mahal banaya hansa rehvaan ni paya,
Arre haan haan re.

Kaati lena ghaas, baandh lena tatiya,
Arre haan haan re.
Kaati lena ghaas, baandh lena tatiya,
Arre haan haan re.

Ek din jalegi kaaya lakdi ke sang maan, 
Mahal banaya hansa rehvaan ni paya,
Arre haan haan re.
Jaao nugri kaaya thaare ka jas gaavaan? Arre haan haan re.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

its been some time since i have been trying to write about so many things its not even funny...
i dont know i feel like theres a block in me somewhere as a result of trying to be some one else.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Weird parameters…




So here’s the thing,
People have parameters for everything… and its pretty ok… for eg, you are six foot tall and so every 5foot bed according to you is crappy… you are a vegetarian and people who eat meat are flesh eating monsters… yeah ok … you are a stuck up Tambram (tamilian brahmin), and every one with a tattoo is probably the western devil (and of course you didn’t just get your daughter married to a gay guy!!! ) I get it…
God knows I have my parameters… parameters that if I didn’t have, I would have been happier… like people being cynical cannot be my friends… it annoys me… I hate being annoyed with friends… people who are rude to their staff fit into my parameter of an asshole.  But I don’t have screwed up issues… atleast I don’t think so… ok probably my weight issue… but other than that I guess I don’t judge people that much.
Why I am saying all this gibberish is because I don’t know how to begin about this thing that has annoyed me beyond compare.
What is with judging women based on what time they wake up in the morning?
For the longest time in my life, I have been haunted and crucified at the altar of women who would wake up early… 

The other day, for the n’th time my clothes that had just come from the laundry had been completely destroyed…now I have a staff of four at home at least 6 times I have brought to their attention what they wash coloured clothes with white or light ones which is why the light/white ones get discolored…
So I tell the man… “see they just don’t listen I have told them a million times shown them how to do it a million times yet they don’t take care … they’ve ruined my clothes!!! ”
The man replies with immense fake empathy, “maybe you need to train them better… may be they don’t know how to do it…”
So I say that its rubbish cause they wash their own clothes too and their clothes r never spoilt.  They are just being plain careless…
So he says unbelievably with more fake empathy than last time, “of course, they are acting smart cause they think big deal, who’s who has the time to keep a check on them”
Then I say, “how come your clothes never get spoilt?”
Incredibly, he says , “you see, I’m vigilant, I wake up early in the morning” !!!


Seriously, how on earth has that got to do with any thing man???
I wake up late but that’s about how different I am from other women! Its not like I lie drunk all day, not knowing who’s doing what… I manage the staff and the house just like anyone else… better actually…
Yeah so I don’t wake up in the morning to make breakfast … but why the hell do I need to ? I have a so called cook whom I am paying money to do that for me…
Even if I do get up at 6 in the morning, take a bath, what do I do after that?
Watch tv? There’s depression on tv early morning! Read the news paper, that’s even worse…
Forget about me, just generally, women are judged as householders based on what time they wake up…
That’s just stupid …
Yeah sure its healthier to wake up early… of course I am trying to turn towards the healthier lifestyle, but I don’t like being told that the reason why people aren’t doing their job right cause I don’t wake up early in the morning… that the reason why I disagree with people so much is because I’m not a morning person. That you are tolerating me for my “late mornings”  and that I should be grateful and accept that  this itself is a valid reason for someone to patronise me and look down upon me… that’s just wrong…
What time I wake up is my business… its time everyone woke up to that!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

ye meri umrr Mohabbat ke liye thodi hai...

tu mila hai to ye eh saas hua hai mujh ko, ye meri umrr, Mohobbat ke liye  thodi hai,
ek zarasa ghame daura ka bhi haqh hai jispe, maine wo saaans bhi tere liye rakh chhodi hai...
pyaar ka bann ke nigehbaan tujhe chaahunga,
Main to Marr kar bhi meri jaan tujhe chaahunga.

i will not translate these lines... not today. not to a world without him. i heard it in the news. i didn't even finch. reacted as if i wasn't bothered... So what if Mehndi Hassan was no more?
 the world will go on! within the next decade we will graduate from words like ghaaghra to saying chut, from choli to nipplebai or something more loathe some, they wont stop. not for a second! young girls will be fooled into loosing their virginities in the name of love, stupid men will loose their souls and dignity to whores.
no one will stop.
why should some one?
for what?
who was mehndi???

why would we stop because of him???

i kept lying on...
fooling my self away from this pain that is tearing my love to shreds.

and then prashant messaged me.

then it happened. the flood. it is in my face . The truth. The magnitude of what all i lost today.

"bhan sahab aap to baadshah hain, aap ka to bada dil hai, bas ek din  ke liye de dijiye, mai kasam se kal hi tape kar ke lautadunga!"

This is my earliest memmory of mehndi. the bhan sahab being reffered to was my father in his prime. and the man asking him for the favour was a very old friend/ rummi/ drinking partner of my father.
The wealth being begged to be borrowed was a taped grey coloured plastic cassette of Mehndi Hassan.

of that cassette i remember sticking a pencil in and twirling the cassette round and round until the tape that would have come out of its place because of getting stuck in the head, would be back.

Ranjish hi sahi is the song of my early child hood. a time when papa mumma would play rummy with papa's friends. "haan bhai aapke kitne point hue? aur mumma kehti" kya raja aap cheating karte ho hisaab mein."

Ranjish hi sahi.

oh how this song was mine as much as it was mehndi's... he might have belted it to weeping moved audiences... i whispered it in the ears on lovers leaving.
He saw irony in it maybe, i saw a song strumming my pain with each word.

Really, how different is mehndi from me? he sang his songs for love. i sang them in and for love.

people say he got carried away, drank too much... maybe that was their mehndi hassan sahab.
but my mehndi, wo to ruth gaye the, sab se bhi aur apne aap se bhi. kyoun? kyoun ki wo mohabbat se muh nahi mod paaye. nafrat saamne fann faylaye khadi thi, par unko mohabbat se mohabbat thi.

jab bhi wo mohabbat aayi, jagaata hua jaadu laayi...

aisa lagta hai jaise kisi ne mujhme se koi cheez noch li.

jaise ye ek sign hai, ki ab pyaar nahi raha... mohabbat nahi rahi.

like the is no more the time when people love.

i do not know what i am babbling right now. because i am still grappling with the effort to understand how much of me mehndi took with him...

i do not know ki duniya ke ke liye Mehndi Hassan ke kya maayine the...

mere liye mehndi hassan mohabbat ke hone ka subut the....

jab dil kehta that ki sach mein kaash wo chod ke jaane ke liye laut aaye, to mehndi ka meri zindagi mein hona, mere paagalpan ya bevafoofi ko ibaadat bana deta tha.

apne jazbaat mein nagmaat rachane ke liye, maine dhadkan ki tarah dil mein basaya hai tujhe!
Mai tasavvur bhi judai ka bhala kaise karun? Maine kismat ki laqeeron se churaya hai tujhe!

kailash ne kaha hai ek gaane mein, ki daulat jaaye to jaaye koi pyaar bina rota bhi nahi...

mera aur mohabbat ka rishta jayaz banane wale the mehndi.

Mehndi ki lali ne mere zahn ko aisi laali mein ranga ki aaj bhi agar mohabbat aisi nahi ho jaisi mere mehndi ke   geeton mein hai, to wo mohabbat nahi!

agar mohabbat ho to dil sach mein kahe , geet mai aisa gaaun, tum hi suno. aur mai gaata jaaun
aur agar wo rahe paas mere, duniya ko thukraungi


 aaj bhi mere liye mohabbat wahi mohabbat hai ki tujh ko chu lun to phir e jaane tamanna mujh ko der tak apne badan se teri khushboo aaye...

magar kai saalon se mere saamne bhi asliyat ka saanp apne fann failaye khada hai.
Kal tak jab mera mehndi mujh se duur tha, to mai haar maan kar baith gayi thi.
soch liya tha ki bevakufi hai mohabbat.

Magar aaj mera junoon phir mere saath hai... aaj mai phir lad sakti hun, kuch mohabbat ki aour badh sakti hun .

aaj mera mehndi mere andar hai. ab mai umr bhar mehak sakti hun.

aakhir mera mehndi kehta tha,


ab tak dile khush fahm ko hai tujh se ummeedein,
ye aakhri shammein bhi bujhaane ke liye aa!



ps: if you havent loved, you will never know mehndi hassan sahab

Monday, April 2, 2012

baarish

as hard as i try, i cant explain the relationship i share with the rain.
Like a long lost lover it comes yet again, year after year, drop after drop.
Teasing from behind the glass wall that seperates us. Smashing into the glass drop by drop. Causing my flesh to long the thrill of the fall. Sending shivers of longing and passion for touch itself. Introducing me to my own thirst for my own beauty that only is for me to live. To blush at my own thoughts. 
To tease my own senses. And toss in abandon of my own being. To swim in my silence. 
To once again, celebrate the ritual of worship, of the mystery, that is me .

Saturday, January 28, 2012

close ur eyes and scramble ur thoughts.

aah thish fish fcuk drum roll ... tada...
each day one fights battles one tried to run away from...
yet the sound of those nightmares narrated under her breath...
and the smell of gun powder and the weariness...
the sticky hands the dirty fingernails and the gloom of battles won...
and look the sparrow chirped

Friday, October 21, 2011

Kailash Kher: unnati sheel desh hota hai unnatti sheel naujawano...

Kailash Kher: unnati sheel desh hota hai unnatti sheel naujawano...: Mai bhaarat Ka Baalak Hun aur Gaayak hone ke kaaran Desh Videsh me yaatra karte hue dekh paata Hun ki duniya kahaa hai, aur mera Desh kaha...